Sticks and stones

It was a really tough day yesterday. I started to blog about it, but realized I should take a day, calm down, and reflect.

I had a conversation with landlady about moving into staff quarters. It was a pleasant enough exchange--she even declined next month's rent.  Twice.  BUT returned 10 mins later and hurled personal attacks against me.  Among other things, she passive aggressively commented on how my parents raised me and how "un-Christian-like" my behavior was. She kept saying it was so sudden and should've given notice. The whole thing came together in the last three days, how much more notice did she want?  Did she want me to stay in the flat for another month just so she can feel prepared for my departure?  She even said she would call my mother and the auntie who's friends with both landlady and my mom.  What am I, 8?  I just let her have at it because she was convinced 1+1=3 so I wasn't going to waste my time reasoning with her. I'm still confused by why she thought it was appropriate to throw up all over me, a virtual stranger. If this were about money, I'm giving her the full month's rent without living there. If this were a personal thing, she should be happy for me that I no longer have to do the long commute and that I'll have my own space. I nodded and uttered "uh huh" the whole time...maybe I had no words because I was choking on the smoke coming out of my ears.

I had a really long talk with my parents and they reminded me that someone calling me a name or saying I'm something doesn't make it true.  It felt like I was running home from school in tears after some mean girl called me a name.  They also said I had already gone above and beyond by tolerating her tirade.  Not to mention having had allowed her to change the terms of rental agreement by asking for an additional $500 for "use of appliances" after I moved in. (That's a whole other story.)

I can't stand it when people think they are better than they are.  She kept talking about friendship...Then be happy for me!  I'd respect her if she had owned the fact that this was about money. I'm vacating the flat before Sept 30 and paying next month's rent...what's the problem?

WTF  (I try really hard not to use foul language, but ever since the first day I moved in, I've had to try extra hard to hold my tongue.)

Here's what I've learned from this experience:
1) God does provide. Maybe not in the way I would like things to be, but He always gives me what I need. I have a private space with zero commute to work.
2) God is my refuge. When I felt so alone after being schooled, there was nothing I could do but cry in my room. I felt misunderstood. I felt incredibly sad. I felt lonely. Who was there to save me? No one but my Heavenly Father.
3) Self-awareness is key to personal growth.
4) It's rarely a good thing to react immediately to an unexpected situation. Reflect and think about my part in the incident and what, if anything, should be said. Sometimes it's not necessary to say anything at all.
5) Of course it is easy to be patient and kind and considerate to people I like and can get along with. It's certainly tougher to do when it's not reciprocated.  The way I see it is that I need to stop focusing on someone else and only work on myself.  No good comes from responding to negativity with negativity.
6)  Approach difficult situations with a grateful heart.  I find myself calmer and more at peace with what I can't change.  Because there is always an upside...sometimes it just takes longer to find it.  (It also helps to have really wonderful friends to listen to my thinking out loud moments.)

Getting through yesterday was a life affirming experience.  I am strong.  I am resilient.  I am not alone.  God is gracious and watches over me.  My parents will always be in my corner, no matter what.  I have an awesome support network of people, even if most are an ocean away.  Thank you!

New home

I am really lucky to get into staff quarters.  It's by lottery.  And there was only one private unit available this month.  And I got it.  No more hour-long commutes.  I can see my office from my balcony.  It's a studio apartment and I have my own kitchen and restroom.  Yay...oh, but don't get too excited.  There is no sink in the restroom.  The shower is not a separate space and it is one foot from the toilet.  It's been a while since I've had to shower with flip flops on.  (I'll post before and after photos of the space later.  After a really really thorough cleaning.)

My unit is in Block C.  No elevator...thank goodness I didn't have any furniture with me.

I'm kidding (but not really) when I describe staff quarters as a cross between prison and sanatorium.  Tell me this picture does not evoke images of the visitation room at a prison.

 

And tell me Natalie isn't standing in the hallway of a sanatorium.  You know, dim lighting and white walls to not over stimulate crazy people.

 

Hahahahaha

moving day

 

First tutorial

I decided to use prezi for my tutorial on health insurance. It's better than PowerPoint in this case because students get a big picture roadmap in the beginning. I can box in things to emphasize them, or hide certain things like definitions by making them super tiny.

It was such a fun moment for me when I clicked to the second slide and the "camera" zoomed in on the dot of the "i" to show definitions of "insurance".  The students collectively exclaimed, "Whoa!"  I loved that it surprised them and caught their attention.  It really was the highlight of my day.

I really enjoy teaching.  Designing lessons.  Prep work.  The delivery.  It was great to see "I get this" faces at the end!  It has been a challenge for me to know the material well enough to be able to teach things back.  Considering how much I struggled with health economics, I am pretty proud of myself for getting this far.  And to be able to answer questions.  Hahahaha.  Who would've thunk!

Life is full of surprises, in spite of trying to plan, plan, and plan. I would've never ever expected to be the TA for a health econ class, much less generate lecture content.  It's scary to walk in a little blind, but it sure feels great to challenge myself in this way.

Well, this was just the appetizer.  The actual concentration course starts Oct 10.  Nine lectures.  That's the main dish.  We'll get into elasticities.  Sensitivity analysis.  ICER.  Yeah, I'm getting a headache just thinking about it.  Lol.

Just a regular Sunday morning in HK

Getting to know fellow HKers (and their body odor)

Only way to make sure you don't arrive with smashed cake

How much would you pay

...to get a seat in the 16-person minibus? You could wait for the next one--30 minutes later, but the next one could be full the next time it comes. You could walk 7 mins to the main street and wait between 10 and 30 mins for another minibus. (I waited for 15 mins and watched two full ones pass by...although the third came a few mins afterwards.) It could also be hot and/or rainy. Not to mention mosquitoes and other lovely bugs.

How much would you pay the first guy in the line? How much would you offer the 16th person?

Better question is how much would you take as the first guy in line? You could've been waiting for 15 mins already. How much would you take as the 16th person who isn't guaranteed a seat and you had just gotten in line? (the ride cost HK$6.60 which is less than US$1.00)

It's all about efficiency in HK

I've seen it at grocery stores. I've seen it in parking lots. The ladies' restroom? Awe-some! (but if it ever malfunctions, it could create the potential "opps excuse me" situation...)

iPhone 5

The Apple store at IFC (Central). Yes, that is the line to pick up one's reserved iPhone 5.

So here's day 2 of 3-day HK tour extravaganza

In addition to being a wonderful storyteller, Jason takes awesome photos too: http://jasonashimoto.com/2012/09/22/hong-kong-day-2/ 

Just give me a few days to write up our funny stories...

Driving rocks #6

I'm not even sure waiting in an air-conditioned space would make waiting for the minibus less of an annoyance. I'm really tired of adding 40 mins to an hour to my travel time!

Okay the minibus is finally here. Now I have 15 mins to decide whether to take MTR or bus because either would get me there late...just a matter of how late.

Ugh.

Driving rocks #5

Maybe it's because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, so every little thing bugs me.

I'm about to lose it and tell the lady next to me to stop fidgeting. Actually, she's putting on her makeup. She's been pulling her entire life out of her bag, sweeping crap on her face, while hooking the handle of her bag on her arm. So with each stroke, her arm AND bag handle brush against my arm. Normally, it's like, fine. But if you do this continuously for 20 mins (and counting) nonstop, ugh. (I'm totally screaming inside, by the way.)

I've adjusted my position a few times but each time I scoot away, she takes it as an invitation to make wider sweeping motions! Would it be terrible for my arm to slip and knock her elbow? While she's doing her eye liner. Yeah, woke up on the wrong side of the bed today...

(so this is why we have cameras on our phones!)

Someone really did stay behind!

Thank goodness I was able to answer her...hahaha.  High five.  Double high five because I actually made sense, and it was an economic evaluation question!!!

I totally have more work to do but I just could not stay in the office again.  And have the same meal from the canteen.  Even though it is such a good deal.  I decided to leave and work from home.  

I took bus 89x to Shatin's New Town Plaza for citysuper.  Citysuper makes me happy.  I bought cheese and bread.  Yum... I have to stop eating so much bread...and cheese...and bread.

Is it terrible that I'm blogging during the lecture?

Hahahaha

Lecture 1 of 4. Spent the entire class prepping for next week's tutorials. And half listening to what she's saying (nightmares from health econ with Phillips!) ...just in case someone stays behind for office hours.

Why did I offer to hold office hours again?!?! I'm so sleepy...

Choice Travel Agency

My co-workers are wonderful human beings.  That sounds a little funny, but that's exactly what they are.  Genuinely kind and helpful and thoughtful.

When September 1st rolled around, I started to ask about things to do in HK.  Because Eric and Jason would be here on the 13th.  I first asked about Lantau Island.  Horace had been there and came up with a great plan.

Then I had the best idea...I asked Horace to plan the other two days for me.  I can be brilliant sometimes.  Remember that his nickname is Choi Choi jai.  And taking my "booking", we established Choi's travel agency, which turned into "Choice Travel Agency, serving HK and surrounding islands".  Hahaha.  (He can do a ten-day bike tour of Taiwan, but that's another story.)

I thought he would just send me some websites or jot down a couple of things to do.  But no.  Horace was so amazing.  He made a spreadsheet and created an itinerary with time, place, and activity.

And then during lunch a few days later, the entire room 426 discussed the itinerary in detail.  Their collective input really made the three-day tour fun-filled and memorable.  They also offered to take calls for questions that weekend (I did call Natalie and Dorothy for directions).  Now that's a full-service travel agency!

Such lovely people.  I'm really lucky to have met them.

I'm all about being efficient, so...

Jason and Eric came to visit me this past weekend.  Jason was in Japan for a missions trip.  We thought it would be silly for him not to make the side trip to HK.  Duh.  And then Eric decided he would come too.  From LA.  Awesome.

I have known Jason since fifth grade.  First day of school in the US, he sat next to me (okay, I sat next to him) in Mrs. Anderson's class.  Eric came to Highlands in eighth grade.  So Jason, Eric, and I were at Highlands together, then Alhambra High School.  We weren't bffs, but were in some of the same clubs and had the same friends.  Eric recently showed me group photos from formals we had taken together.  Hahaha.  (No, I'm not posting them.)  Jason and I both went to UCLA.  Even lived across from each other at 424 Veteran.  We had lost touch after college, but I ran into Eric and Jason at a drink place in Monterey Park last year...I'm so glad to have reconnected with them as adults.

Because we have so much history between us, these guys have no trouble telling me exactly what they are thinking.  Which usually involves laughing at me (NOT with me).  There is no pretending with them.  Because they know just how uncool I really am.  Lol

It was a whirwind three-day HK tour extravaganza.  No joke.  It's going to take me a while to get photos and captions together, so I'll let Jason do the talking.  He tells better stories anyway: Hong Kong Day 1A

Redefining work-life balance in HK

I've been keeping hours like the other half of Hong Kong. And it makes me giddy. It's not a good thing when I keep regular hours...it either means the job isn't challenging enough or I stopped caring about the job. I like it when I'm a little too busy to snack--when I don't even have time to think about food, that's when I mean business. Lol I haven't felt this productive, useful, or creative in a really long time.

I've been walking around like a zombie and having a mild headache all day, but I'm not complaining. (Still recovering from last week's 10-hour days leading up to the three-day HK tour extravaganza with Eric and Jason.)  I looked at the calendar and realized there actually isn't even one good day for me to get sick from now til December.  So I guess I'm not going to get sick then. Hahaha. My boss' lectures are about to start so we have been rushing to finalize slides. I also have to prep for the tutorials and class activities. I'm going to get to teach! So excited.

Do you know what would make me like my job more? Not live an hour's commute away. Or have reliable Internet access (we "forgot" the password to network) so I can work from home. It sucks to be on the road late at night. Sigh.  But maybe it's a good thing that I live some ways away because I would probably still be at work right now (it's midnight).

I am ecstatic that I have a job that I find challenging and worth staying late for.  That makes life worth living for me.  How's that for work-life balance? Hahaha.

(Don't worry, I work hard and play even harder.  Check back for a recap of the three-day HK tour extravaganza this past weekend...)

Hahahahahaha

Repacking oversized baggage

I told Jason that it's a lot of pressure to make and keep new friends.  I don't feel it's fair to unload on new friends and be a total debbie downer.  (Not that it's fair to unload on "old" friends either.  But you know what I mean.)  No one wants to hang out with the girl with issues or the girl who's always a little sad.  It's too much effort to be around someone like that.  So Jason said, "Then make a lot of new friends.  Give one person this bag, and another person a different bag.  Spread it around."  lol

Having had more time to myself in Hong Kong (i.e. daily hour-long commute), I'm more aware of the fact that I overthink things and fixate on something until I really am about to jump off the ledge.  I want to solve my own problems and I think it's unattractive to share some of the "crazy" things going on in my head.  Even I think I'm crazy (sometimes).  lol.  I also have a bad habit of making things more complicated than necessary.  Someone told me that I'm the person who messes with the tiny crack on the windshield--I not only expand the size of the crack by pressing on it, but I make it worse by pressing on it forcefully. That is totally what I do...!

Even if I don't share my deepest darkest secrets, just being around other people will take my mind off "problems" and focus on the lighter (and brighter) side of life.  It's a win-win situation.

Talking with Jason reminded me that I can still be considered "cool" even when I allow new friends to see me at my most vulnerable moments.  It's how I choose to handle disappointments and difficult situations that makes people want to be around me.  It's like looking beautiful/handsome even with wrinkles.  And there are many beautiful people in the world with wrinkles.

30 minutes is worth HK$3 to me!

I've been taking a different route this week. Instead of transferring at tai wai, which is a roundabout way to get to city one, I get off at fo tan (just 2 stops from tai po market) and take minibus 811 to work. It cost $3.2 more this way, but it saves me 10 mins going to work (stops right in front of hospital!), and as much as 40 mins going home. Because the minibus to my village road only departs at :05 and :35. Miss it and either wait in the heat, or take the one to the big street and then walk in.

Tonight I made my minibus--with a minute to spare--because I decided I can spare 3 bucks. Hahahah. Yay!

health care vs. healthcare

I used to write papers until the last possible second before they were due, which didn't really leave much time for editing.  It wasn't until one of my college professors, on the last paper I wrote as a college student, said something like, "You should be spending more time editing your papers at this stage of your academic career.  A-"  That fundamentally changed the way I wrote papers from that point forward.

I became a stickler for punctuation.  I am very careful about proper pronoun usage.  I used "and" sparingly and became a more concise writer (research papers...not letters or notes to people...haha).  I am obsessed with the correct usage of hyphens.  And I spend a great deal of time wondering if two words should be one word instead.  My biggest pet peeve is the improper usage of "myself"...oh, don't even get me started.


Maybe some of you fellow nerds would appreciate this blog post from The Health Care Blog as much as I did.

Michael Millenson writes:
The two-word rule for “health care” is followed by major news organizations (New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal) and medical journals (New England Journal of Medicine, JAMA, Annals of Internal Medicine). Their decision seems consistent with the way most references to the word “care” are handled.

Even the editorial writers of Modern Healthcare magazine do not inveigh against errors in medical care driving up costs in acutecare hospitals and nursinghomes. They write about “medical care,” “acute care” and “nursing homes,” separating the adjectives from the nouns they modify. Some in the general media go even farther, applying the traditional rule of hyphenating adjectival phrases; hence, “health-care reform,” just as you’d write “general-interest magazine” or “old-fashioned editor.”


Most importantly of all, the Associated Press decrees that the correct usage is, “health care.” That decision is not substantive – there is absolutely no definitional difference between “health care” and “healthcare,” despite what you might read elsewhere — but stylistic. As in The Associated Press Stylebook.


I have a fascination for proper grammar because I love rules.  Haha.  Rules provide structure.  It's like a straight line from A to B.  Or "if this, then that."  Rules help me set expectations.  Rules provide cues in social situations.  I used to think that rules offered a certain level of certainty in life.  Hahaha, even I can't keep a straight face writing that sentence.  My Hong Kong experience thus far has already burst that bubble of mine.  Life isn't simply left or right, black or white, yes or no.  Not everything can be labeled and placed neatly into subcategories (I googled to see if this should be hyphened).  The harder I try to define everything, the more difficult I make my life.  It has taken me a really long time to accept that following rules will not shield me from uncertainty...or disappointments.

I'm giving myself permission to just go with the flow.  Maybe even break a few rules.  The earth will not open up and swallow me whole.  (Right...?  lol)

Time to get back to working on slides for the healthcare financing lecture.

Um...party of one, please

I used openrice (China's Yelp) to find a nearby restaurant and came across a "winner"--Good Satay.

People were lined up around the corner. I asked how long for one and I was seated immediately.  Immediately! Because I was to share a table with two others.  Hahaha.

I looked through the menu and settled on Hainan Chicken.  And grass jelly drink.

When I put the menu away, it started to feel weird.  To be sitting across from strangers...so I take out my phone.  It's not like I could even stare into space. Because I would be staring at the couple.  So yeah.  I was so grateful when the food came.  Had to remind myself not to inhale the food.  Because subconsciously I would be trying to eat as fast as possible so I could get out of there.

I want to learn to be more comfortable doing things on my own this year.  I've never really had to.  And I've never wanted to.  It's important to learn to balance having a community and enjoying my own company.  There is a difference between feeling lonely and being alone.

It's going to be uncomfortable for a while, but I'm not going to run away from the opportunity to challenge myself.  The time alone will allow me to slow down.  To observe.  To think.

There is at least one advantage here--there's rarely a wait for party of one.

Reiss fall launch

I'm not one to turn down free nibbles and cocktails. Or 10% off. Lol. So Dorothy and I went to Reiss at IFC in Central. We got free express manicures! And then had xiao lung bao and noodles.

Just a typical Thursday night in HK.  Hahaha.

An awesome day indeed

Sunday was a great day. Probably one of the best days I've had since being in HK. That's huge. Considering how miserable I've been with the commute and "minor" annoyances that shall remain nameless.

I met coworkers in Kowloon Bay for Hazel's send-off.  (Not my sister Hazel, a co-worker Hazel.) We started with lunch at Megabox--a shopping mall--for Korean food.  We waited for five elevators before squeezing into one.  Hahaha. Yep, HK and elevators.  After lunch, we went bowling.  Now that was a trek. The hot sun didn't help. We got there and realized there was a tournament. Lol. Waited about 45 minutes for a lane.

 

The nine of us took two lanes.  It was hilarious.  Because no one could really bowl...but seriously the best way to play. While we were waiting, we got silly and started taking pictures. That was awesome.  I'm waiting for Hazel to upload her pictures because Ching Ching used Hazel's camera to try to squeeze all nine of us into the photo while she held the camera...well she got everyone but herself.  Hahaha.

This is perhaps the defining moment of our day.  For the last round, Natalie used this gadget to help roll the ball straight...she got a strike!

Then we took the shuttle back to MTR station. I was going back to pick up my stuff from a family friend's place before heading home. But then ended up joining Dorothy and Judy to Tsim Sha Tsui. That was really fun. We just walked around Harbor City mall and had Vietnamese food. I decided I ate too much and did not get my new obsession from Cha Cha. I had the order ticket in hand but decided against it. Yay for good decisions!

We then spent some time taking photos with Doraemon. It was so fun being silly!

We parted ways at about 10pm. I took the bus back to Homantin because it would be a little closer than taking the train. Judy and Dorothy asked if I knew where I'm going. I said I took this route to the pier before. Judy asked, "During the day or night?   It looks different, you know."  And it did. Hahahaha. There was a nice man on the bus who helped me figure out my stop because the stop I knew to get off of is on the OTHER side of the street so whatever I was looking for would not exist. I walked up the hill and walked way faster than usual because it was a little dark and I kept saying to myself, "Don't be dumb next time. Just take a taxi."

The trip home from there took an hour and a half.  I waited 20 minutes for my minibus and did not take the one that goes to the main road because I'm not walking from the main street to my place with laundry, groceries, overnight bag, and purse.  Sigh.  It was past midnight when I got home.  Back to being a pumpkin.

Perfect for germaphobes (like me)!

hand-washing station OUTSIDE the hospital (no restroom door handles to touch so people can avoid the "there's no soap but I'm stuck in the restroom and have already touched the door handle and the faucet knobs" problem...wait, that has never happened to you?)

want to rinse your utensils and bowl and plate before you start eating?  the restaurant even provides an extra pot of hot water plus the bowl to dispose your "dirty" water into.

I miss...

a good salad!  Finally had one in Stanley last Saturday.  But at about twice the cost of the same salad in the US.  Who knew a salad would become a treat/indulgence?!?!

I must be missing something...

I don't get why people are waiting across the platform for the train going towards Hung Hom, when one train has pulled into the station, going to...guess where...yes, Hung Hom.

Stanley

waiting in line to get into parking lot

I'm grateful for...

New friends.

I was really sad yesterday. It was that overwhelming feeling of sadness that you can't lift yourself out of. I can deal with one, even two, things. Anything more than that, I want to give up trying to have a positive attitude and just let the wave of sadness engulf me.

But God is great. He has surrounded me with some pretty awesome people in HK.
 
April, who quickly became someone I check-in with daily, made plans with me tonight because she knew I needed the company.  Lawrence, who shouldn't be taken too seriously 99% of the time, was great when I needed him to be serious.  He gave really good guy advice--straight forward and to-the-point.  Sometimes you just want a guy to tell it like it is.  And then there was Dorothy.  She stood at the bus stop (missed her bus) to hang with me while listening to my circular logic.  And then there was Joice.  She sat with me for literally an hour and a half. She listened. She shared. And listened some more.

I feel so much better after all that.  Lol.  But I think I mostly feel better because life in HK is really looking up, especially with these new friends.  Life is about community, and I'm slowly building up mine in a new city.  We all need at least one person in our lives to talk us off the ledge.  Preferably in person.  I had four.  That makes me smile.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to meet interesting and generous people to comfort and support me in ways beyond my expectations.

When work doesn't feel like work

Helping Su prep for her "Intro to public health" lectures has put me ankle deep in something I avoided like the plague in school: Health Economics.

Sometimes life is funny that way.  The more you fight something, the more it shows up in your life.  I could add "health econ TA" to the list of things-to-whine-about, or embrace this opportunity for real growth.  One of the downsides of (generally) being self-aware is that I am really good at running away from things I am slightly uncomfortable doing.  Because I hate the feeling that someone is going to figure out I have no idea what I'm doing or talking about.  So this is more than just about intellectual growth.  Prepping lecture materials and running tutorials will help me be less rigid and maybe even not take myself so seriously.  It's okay to not know the answer.  It's even okay to look or feel dumb once in a while. 

Here's my run-into-the-ocean-screaming-with-glee moment.  Might as well enjoy the experience.  The challenge for me is to understand the material in such a way that I can teach it back.  I loathed health econ because it took me a (long) while to connect the dots between theory and application.  So I will do my best to make it so the students won't loathe health econ...haha. 

Su seemed to have been impressed with my ideas at our meeting this afternoon.  Yay.  I appreciate the opportunity to learn by doing.  I don't even mind that I'm staying late to finish up the lecture materials.  It's been a while since I've felt this engaged and challenged by my work.  And I have to say...it feels awesome!

It's raining today

After not needing an umbrella for the past 20 days, I left my umbrella at home. My purse was just getting way too heavy. And my coworkers have said not to believe the observatory's thunderstorm warnings.

Well...I'm standing inside my building waiting for a window of opportunity to get to the train station. Meanwhile, I've got a decision to make--when I do start walking briskly towards the train station, should I protect my hair or my purse...?

First paycheck!

It's been forever since I've been paid by check! How exciting it was to get a check over $10,000...and then back to reality when I see "HK" next to the dollar sign. Lol

Tim Ho Wan

 

one-page menu

you don't come for the service or how pretty the space is or even for the tea

steamed eggplant stuffed with fish meat

har gao (steamed shrimp dumplings)

vermicelli roll stuffed with shrimp

pan fried lotus root stuffed with meat

baked bun with bbq pork

yummilicious