Sticks and stones

It was a really tough day yesterday. I started to blog about it, but realized I should take a day, calm down, and reflect.

I had a conversation with landlady about moving into staff quarters. It was a pleasant enough exchange--she even declined next month's rent.  Twice.  BUT returned 10 mins later and hurled personal attacks against me.  Among other things, she passive aggressively commented on how my parents raised me and how "un-Christian-like" my behavior was. She kept saying it was so sudden and should've given notice. The whole thing came together in the last three days, how much more notice did she want?  Did she want me to stay in the flat for another month just so she can feel prepared for my departure?  She even said she would call my mother and the auntie who's friends with both landlady and my mom.  What am I, 8?  I just let her have at it because she was convinced 1+1=3 so I wasn't going to waste my time reasoning with her. I'm still confused by why she thought it was appropriate to throw up all over me, a virtual stranger. If this were about money, I'm giving her the full month's rent without living there. If this were a personal thing, she should be happy for me that I no longer have to do the long commute and that I'll have my own space. I nodded and uttered "uh huh" the whole time...maybe I had no words because I was choking on the smoke coming out of my ears.

I had a really long talk with my parents and they reminded me that someone calling me a name or saying I'm something doesn't make it true.  It felt like I was running home from school in tears after some mean girl called me a name.  They also said I had already gone above and beyond by tolerating her tirade.  Not to mention having had allowed her to change the terms of rental agreement by asking for an additional $500 for "use of appliances" after I moved in. (That's a whole other story.)

I can't stand it when people think they are better than they are.  She kept talking about friendship...Then be happy for me!  I'd respect her if she had owned the fact that this was about money. I'm vacating the flat before Sept 30 and paying next month's rent...what's the problem?

WTF  (I try really hard not to use foul language, but ever since the first day I moved in, I've had to try extra hard to hold my tongue.)

Here's what I've learned from this experience:
1) God does provide. Maybe not in the way I would like things to be, but He always gives me what I need. I have a private space with zero commute to work.
2) God is my refuge. When I felt so alone after being schooled, there was nothing I could do but cry in my room. I felt misunderstood. I felt incredibly sad. I felt lonely. Who was there to save me? No one but my Heavenly Father.
3) Self-awareness is key to personal growth.
4) It's rarely a good thing to react immediately to an unexpected situation. Reflect and think about my part in the incident and what, if anything, should be said. Sometimes it's not necessary to say anything at all.
5) Of course it is easy to be patient and kind and considerate to people I like and can get along with. It's certainly tougher to do when it's not reciprocated.  The way I see it is that I need to stop focusing on someone else and only work on myself.  No good comes from responding to negativity with negativity.
6)  Approach difficult situations with a grateful heart.  I find myself calmer and more at peace with what I can't change.  Because there is always an upside...sometimes it just takes longer to find it.  (It also helps to have really wonderful friends to listen to my thinking out loud moments.)

Getting through yesterday was a life affirming experience.  I am strong.  I am resilient.  I am not alone.  God is gracious and watches over me.  My parents will always be in my corner, no matter what.  I have an awesome support network of people, even if most are an ocean away.  Thank you!